Hiiiiiiii!
Someone
is sitting next to me and telling me it’s tacky to start out this update by
saying “I have been meaning to write this life update for months now! I am so
sorry it has taken me so long.”, but the thing is I really do feel so badly
that it has taken me this long…. So I guess that makes me #tackyandproud.
I
have three months to catch you up on, so here goes:
I
finished a blissful summer in my West Virginia hills. Oh how I love every
single thing about that place. There truly is no place like home.
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| A sunrise in my backyard. |
I got to go on a few more mini road trips before I left the beloved east. I went to a bomb.com amusement park in Ohio with some friends, northern West Virginia to see a best friend from childhood, Washington D.C. with most of my family for a few days, and Columbus to go see my cousin bless his cute cute cute baby.
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| church friends at King's Island! |
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| Visiting Kellie in Harper's Ferry! |
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| my cousin's baby's blessing! |
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| Part of the fambam in D.C. |
Then
I went on the ultimate of all road trips with the one and only - my mom! She
drove with me back to school (had to get my car back to Utah). Mom and I decided
to take our time and enjoy our road trip. We stopped at many sights that are
important to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We
believe the Church of Jesus Christ was organized and restored in 1830. For the
following few decades after its organization, the Church and its members were
persecuted. Early church members experienced a pattern for several years: moving
to a new place, building a community, being persecuted for their beliefs, and
being driven from the state/their homes for fear of their lives. They finally
gradually trekked via wagons or handcarts to Utah, where they finally found
peace. Mom and I visited some of these church history landmarks on our way to
Utah (Nauvoo, Illinois; Council Bluffs, Iowa; Winter Quarters, Nebraska; Martin’s
Cove, Wyoming).
Something that struck me this time around was the pioneers' emphasis on the temple. (We believe: "Temples are houses of the Lord, the most sacred structures
on the earth… At the time of the Restoration, the Lord commanded Joseph Smith
to once again build temples on the earth. Like ancient temples, today’s temples
are also sacred places where God may dwell… In the temple, members: learn eternal truths, receive
sacred ordinances, including those that bind husband and wife together for
eternity, as well as join children and parents (Malachi 4:5-6), and
provide ordinances such as baptism for those who have died without the
opportunity to receive the gospel of Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:29); 1 Peter 4:6)” If you have more question about what we believe about temples, feel free to ask me or visit:
http://www.mormon.org/faq/topic/temples)
I used to think the main reason the early saints went through so many tribulations to gather together from all over the world was because the prophet commanded them to come, they needed a support group, they were searching for religious freedom, etc. While all of those reasons are definitely part of it, I couldn't help but think about the WHY. Why was it a commandment? Why were they coming to one place in particular? Because that's where the temple was! That's where they could fully access eternal life and the blessings of the atonement of Jesus Christ. If we don't set our sights on the blessings in the temple, then what's the point of anything? Why did the Savior come to the earth if we don't choose to access the blessings that come from what He did for each of us? It seems obvious when I say it, haha. But it really struck me in a new light this time around.
This summer Mom and I were able to attend temple sessions together in Columbus, Ohio; Palmyra, New York; Nauvoo, Illinois; and Salt Lake City, Utah. We are all beyond blessed to live in a time when there are 143 operating temples around the world with 15 under construction and another 12 announced. Here in Utah, I live within a few miles of several temples!! I have been trying really hard these past few months to attend the temple regularly. I have seen so many direct blessings in my life from that effort. A church leader by the name of Gary Stevensen said, "You are never lost when you can see the temple." I confidently know that that is true.
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| Nauvoo, Illinois Temple |
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| Pulling a handcart like the ol' pioneers at Martin's Cove |
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| Salt Lake City Temple |
On
our venture out west, we also made a pit stop in the beautiful mountains of
Aspen, Colorado. I have to say whether it’s the green hills of West Virginia,
the plains in the middle of nowhere Iowa, or the Rocky Mountains in Colorado,
we live in a beautiful country and a beautiful world.
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| Maroon Bells in Aspen, Colorado |
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| Hogs & Kisses from Iowa |
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I was too tired to walk back down to the hotel lobby,
so Mom strolled me. #obvi |
Once
upon a time, when I came home from my mission I had to undergo a transition
that I’ve heard people call “awkward”, “awful”, “tumultuous”, you name it. Then
I returned back to a life in Utah and a life back to school. I feel like I had
to/still am enduring a “back to real life” transition all over again. Homework?
Macklemore? 11pm ice cream runs? These are all foreign concepts to me. The
struggle is real. I’m still trying to figure out how to get my feet completely
under me, but it’s good to be back!
I
am living with my roommate from before my mission – Amy – and two of my past mission companions – Sister Jones and Sister Barney (Yes, it is still very much a
struggle to call them by their first names). Plus my sister, Micah, moved out
to Provo for the first time this fall. Anywho, I could go on forever about how
much of a blessing these crazy girls are in my life, but you’d be reading this
blog for the next few days, so lets just say life is a party.
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Amy and I in a doorway trying to creep on another
roommate's conversation with her boyfriend. #truefriends |
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| Happy Halloween! |
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Roommate pic!
Jazzy had to leave for work before we took this picture.
I promise she doesn't always look like she does in her Halloween pic...
Hot blonde pics of her to come :) |
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| welcome to utah mick! |
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| Atkinson girls never say no to ice cream. |
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| Micah really...loves...football. #gocougars |
So
there’s this boy... His name is Cameron. He and I met over four years ago on the
first day of class of our freshman year of college. We met through a mutual
friend and then randomly discovered we were assigned to be in the same student
ward/congregation. That year we became best friends and dated some. Then he
went on a two-year mission to Peru. Six months before he completed his mission,
I left for my year and a half mission to Los Angeles. We consistently wrote
letters to each other for those three years. And if I do say so myself, our
letters weren’t some mushy gushy nonsense; we simply wrote out our life stories
to each other as any best friends would. This summer, he flew to West Virginia
for a few days and we saw each other for the first time in over three years. He
even joined the family road trip to D.C. (heaven help anyone who joins an
Atkinson road trip) and met a lot of important people in my life. Long story
short, we are both in Provo now and dating. He’s a pretty cool kid I suppose,
so I plan on keeping him around for a while. I’ll just let pictures fill in any
cracks in the story.
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| Oh you know, just us and the ol' honest Abe |
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| Hiking Mt. Nebo! |
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| Utah Symphony date! |
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| we put the fun in 'dysfunctional'. #duh |
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Happy Halloween from Napolean Dynamite and Deb!
#neverlookedbetter |
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haunted ski lift night!
cameron is the one on the right... |
Sarah, one
of my hilarious best friends from West Virginia, came to visit! I think
Utah was a little bit of a culture shock for her, but I had so much fun showing
her my world here. She spent her time here in Salt Lake City, camping and hiking
down south at Arches National Park and Canyonlands National Park, and
driving/hiking in the mountains here in Utah County.
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| Sarah and I in Salt Lake! |
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| Ventures to waterfalls and such. |
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| American Gothic or Caitlin and I? #hardtosay |
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| Delicate Arch! |
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| I have really normal friends. |
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| Mom, can you believe it? Micah did some hiking!! |
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| group pic! group pic! |
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| in my element :) |
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| #trmptgrl92 |
One of the biggest
transitions for me in the past few months has been diving back into the world
of trumpet. Here is something I wrote down in early September: “As I tried to
return to playing the trumpet after the year and a half hiatus, I found myself
impatient and frustrated. Every day this summer I would pray for strength and
guidance in my playing. My answer finally came a few weeks ago in our first
Philharmonic Orchestra rehearsal of the school year. That answer was confirmed
a few days later as we had the unique opportunity to perform for the First
Presidency at the inauguration of BYU’s new president, President Worthen. In
both of these occasions, I was overwhelmed with the Spirit giving me a sense of
purpose and identity. I felt the same way I did when I was at a high school
summer music camp at Indiana University as we performed the fourth movement of
Shostakovich’s Symphony No. 5 in D Minor
or when I was humbled to play with BYU’s Philharmonic Orchestra’s 2012
performance of Mahler’s Symphony No. 3 in
D Minor. I felt complete. I knew I was exactly where Heavenly Father needed
me to be in that exact moment. I wasn’t playing my instrument for the
recognition of the world or for even a sense of self-accomplishment; I was
performing music for an eternal purpose. Ralph Waldo Emerson described these
experiences best when he said, “Music takes us out of the actual and whispers
to us dim secrets that startles our wonder as to who we are, and for what,
whence, and whereto.”” Some aspects of trumpet playing are better than ever; others (like endurance and high range) are still a work in progress, but mostly
I am so grateful to be playing again and attending a university that gives me
so many musical opportunities.
I
feel like there are SO many funny stories to catch you up on from stress
fracturing my foot (was anyone surprised) or going to an Indian gas station in the middle of nowhere Nebraska or seeing this patriotic motorcyclist
on the interstate, but this blog update is already too long… Just know that
life is meant to be enjoyed. I feel like I haven’t stopped laughing in....well
I don’t think I’ve ever stopped laughing. Take a look around you and just enjoy
it!
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| #'Murrica |
People
have asked me if I miss my mission --- I can’t lie---my heart aches to see the
Los Angeles temple or the people that I love there. However, there is a time
for everything in your life. There was a time in my life that I was meant to be
a full-time missionary and now is the time where I am not supposed to be in Los
Angeles. While I was on my mission, I often would look back to the person I was
a few months before or a few years before and would think “eh..oo.. Although I
love and miss that time in my life, I do not want to go back to being the
person that I was then. Not that I was necessarily a bad person or anything,
but I have progressed as a person since that time.” Some people have this awful
misconception that “you are your best self on your mission”, but I look back to
six months ago or a year ago and think “eh…oo… I’m happy I have learned or
changed certain things.” Life is all about progression. Although I am FAR from
perfection and continually fall short with the same weaknesses, I am happy to
be continuing to try and progress in this adventurous life. And I'm very happy where I'm at now. :)
One
thing that seems to be growing every day is my Jesus-love. But really - the more
I experience crazy life or the more I learn about this world, the more I am in
awe at what our Savior did for me and for you. I realize more and more how much
I need Him. I make mistakes everyday. I fall short because of the same old
weaknesses every day. Yet, He is consistently kind, merciful, and enabling. I
feel like I am learning more about His nature and am coming to know Him more
personally. I want to emulate His attributes more in my life. I want to become
a better disciple. I want to become my potential as a daughter of God.
I’ll end with this
quote by President Uchtdorf, a modern day
apostle of our Lord, Jesus Christ. I know it’s lengthy, but it’s worth it – I
promise! Although it was given to an audience of women, it can be applied to
each of us:
“You
are loved. You are dear to your heavenly
parents. The infinite and eternal Creator of light and life knows you! He is mindful of you. Yes, God loves
you this very day and always. He is not waiting to love you until you have
overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He
loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware
that you reach up to Him in heartfelt and hopeful prayer. He knows of the times
you have held onto the fading light and believed—even in the midst of growing
darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times
you have fallen short or failed. And still He loves you. And God knows of your
successes; though they may seem small to you, He acknowledges and cherishes
each one of them. He loves you for
extending yourself to others. He loves you
for reaching out and helping others bear their heavy burdens—even when you are
struggling with your own. He knows
everything about you. He sees you clearly—He knows you as you really are.
And He loves you—today and always! Do you suppose it matters to our Heavenly
Father whether your makeup, clothes, hair, and nails are perfect? Do you think
your value to Him changes based on how many followers you have on Instagram or
Pinterest? Do you think He wants you to worry or get depressed if some
un-friend or un-follow you on Facebook or Twitter? Do you think outward
attractiveness, your dress size, or popularity make the slightest difference in
your worth to the One who created the universe? He loves you not only for who you are this very day but also for the
person of glory and light you have the potential and the desire to become. More than you could ever
imagine, He wants you to achieve your destiny—to return to your heavenly home in honor.”
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